Crash

So tonight just capped of a truly great day. Great weather, new client and I got to do the Cha-Cha slide during work hours at our over-the-top company"picnic."

Tonight me and a group of friends went to go to see "Crash"... an amazing, amazing movie. There are very few works of art, in recent memory, that have provoked such thought. As to not spoil the movie, it's a unique commentary on the human condition and the underlying causes of it all -- prejudice. Few are the things that make me truly sad and a catalyst for this sadness is when I feel that the human condition is irreparable. This 115 minute film capture so many aspects of what plagues humanity and regardless of race, nationality, religion, socio-economic background, etc... no one is exempt from having those thoughts that we all have. While prejudice and hatred are taught, sometimes it is reinforced through encounters and life experiences and I just can't figure out how you change someone's perception that is rooted in experience. Does that make any sense? I could go on for paragraphs and paragraphs about the intracies and subtleties of this film but I'll just say, go see and call me immediately afterwards!

I'm really looking forward to this three day weekend! I start my new project with a great team on Tuesday and I'm so very excited about this. I feel like my work at IAIP was purgatory and now I've been granted a pass to the promised land -- if that sounds extreme, you've never worked at IAIP Business Operations Center!

I've got an awesome weekend planned with good friends - helping Sara move tomorrow and hanging out with Jaimee. Some QT with my kiddies on Sunday as well as having dinner and devotional at Hilary and Aaron's and on Monday I'm hiking/shopping/movie watching with Jenna

... and I swear I'll clean my house in the midst of all that...

New Beginnings!

It's been an interesting past couple of days...

First things first, I'm officially a Baha'i! I think I even surprised myself with this decision. While I have been a "seeker" for months, I'm not sure if I ever thought I would be able expand my old beliefs, start a new walk with God and become a Baha'i. My hesitance had very little to do with the Faith and everything to do with how it would impact my family. I made my declaration on Sunday (ironically Sunday was also the Declaration of the Bab), but I couldn't be completely excited about it because I was so worried about what my mother would think. I composed a very sincere email about my decision and her response totally blew me away!! My mother was tremendously supportive, understanding and open. Her email ended with:

I don't know anything about the Baha'i Faith, but I know you and you've always shown very good judgment and you've always been very introspective in all decisions you've made... Good Luck with your new found path as you pursue fulfillment in the realm o f God's word. I love you.

She even offered to attend Baha'i services in Atlanta to gain a better understanding of the Faith. Once she was satisfied that I wouldn't be able to hurt myself, hurt others or stray too far away from the 1o commandments, she was OK with my decision. I don't think I had ever been more proud to be my mother's daughter than I was at the moment.

With the declaration and family acceptance done, now the real work starts. I get the feeling that being a Baha'i means lots and lots of work, which is awesome! I'm taking Core Curriculum Training, Study Circle and trying to learn everything as quickly as possible. Sometimes I have to remind myself that it took me 23 years to learn all that I know about Christianity, so I need to set reasonable goals and pace myself. I'm just so inspired and uplifted by everything I learn, it makes me thirst for more.

On a not so great front, work was a disaster today. I finally reached my breaking point with my client, after he questioned the back-to-back deaths of my grandmothers. I packed up my office and walked off the client site. At that point, I was 100% sure I wasn't going to have a job. However, I received a call later that evening from my admin manager who apologized for the abusive work conditions with this particular client and offered me a clean break, even though the client requested that I finish up the week. I'll be starting a new project on Monday, so I'm anxiously anticipating which one it will be.

Either way, I'm so thankful for new beginnings both big and small.

Amazing, Amazing Day!

Strain every nerve to acquire both inner and outer perfection, for the fruit of the human tree hath ever been and will ever be perfection both within and without. It is not desirable that a man be left without knowledge or skills, for he is then but a barren tree. Then, so much as capacity and capability allow, ye needs must deck the tree of being with fruits such as knowledge, wisdom, spiritual perception and eloquent speech.
-Bahá'u'lláh.

I've just spent the past 12 hours in Core Curriculum Training. Core Curriculum Training is a four part module that prepares Baha'i teachers to provide children the foundation of spiritual education. Through studying sacred text, consultation, acting, drawing, imagining, working together we really got to the heart of what it means to teach and the importance of teaching children in building the kingdom of God. My classmates were some of the most geunine and passionate people I've ever encountered and the energy made the 12 hours seem like no time at all.

We only got through the first two modules today -- the first on the Station of the Teacher and the second on the Spiritual Reality of the Child. We are born noble and pure, and as we live this life, this nature becomes marred and weathered. It's so amazing to think that God can use someone like me to instill in children the importance of maintaining this nature and developing other virtues such as truthfulness, gentleness, accountability, purposefulness, etc.... and I could use these lessons myself. Once I complete the additional two days of training, I will be able to teach Baha'i School and I am most excited about that!

On a not so happy note, I missed Elon's graduation today because of all the time I've missed at work as of late. One of my most favoritest people in the world, Ronetta, graduated today. It's so funny; I used to think I was so much older and wiser than she and I always thought of myself as her big sister. I can't believe how fast time has flown!! I'm so incredibly proud of her and regret that I could not have shared this day with her.

Well, I've got a date with "Return to Me" tonight and then I'm going to go to bed. I feel so good, I may even do something useful tomorrow... like go grocery shopping!

Am I Doing This Right?

This blogging thing is totally new to me. Everyone keeps telling me that this is the perfect outlet for my cynicism so I finally got bored enough to do it. Actually, sick enough. I've lost all ability to breathe through my nose so I can't lay down (irrational fear of dying because I'll forget to breathe out of my mouth!) and I don't really want to unpack from my trip because I kind of like my living room being an obstacle course...

I just got back from Georgia to attend the funeral of my paternal grandmother -- this is my second grandmother to die in 30 days and the people at work are just kinda rolling their eyes at me at this point! Anyway, it was great to see my familia in full effect. My grandmother had 9 children, 21 grandchildren (I'm #11) and 20 great-grand and we were all there, which is rare. I had cousins and aunts and uncles there that I haven't seen since I was 4 or 5. My grandmother(lovingly known as "Madear") had colon cancer and had really began to suffer in the last week or so. Although it hurts not having her here, I'm so happy she's gone on to a more peaceful place. My grandmother was born on Valentine's Day and passed away on Mother's Day -- most apporpiate for the woman she was (or is?). She was very much the moral voice of the family and almost immediately my family fell apart - drinking, fighting, drinking, bickering... and more drinking. I - like most black folks - have that one overly religious aunt who thinks because she's "saved" and "found Jesus" she can condemn everyone to hell and tell us all what we should and shouldn't do - definitely the source of lots of drama this weekend. I suspect that was her way of dealing with guilt and loss.

On another note, there were so many things I never realized about my family:

1. I didn't know my grandmother was only 72; I thought she was so much older. Grandmas are supposed to be OLD OLD!
2. I didn't know my grandfather had an identical twin brother -- very, very scary!
3. It's very easy for African-Americans to give you a nickname at the age of 2 weeks and it stick for life. Case and point, I have a 30 year old cousin, still called "Lil' Man!" Not until reading my grandmother's obituary did I realize that my Uncle Skeet's name is Earnest; Aunt Diane's name is Rosalind. My Father's middle name is not Lee - in fact he doesn't have a middle name at all, so I'm not sure where Edware Lee came from. My grandfather's name is neither Brownie, nor Mule, it's Earnest Sr.
4. I didn't know I had a sister who was 16 either... YIKES!
5. I didn't know I'd developed some type of social retardation -- I literally wished to be invisible midway through the repast on Saturday. I felt as if I would go into convulsions if I had to interact with any more family a second longer!

I'm really looking forward to this weekend. I start the Core Curriculum training for the Baha'i Faith. I'm so excited about the opportunity to teach children about spiritual education and the importance of being good people -- I swear I don't ever remember that lesson when I was younger. Probably would've saved me lots of grief... Sometimes I think I'm too bitter to be Baha'i, but I'm learning or unlearning.

Anyway, I'm all blogged out. The set up was a real work out.

Night Kiddies!