The Store Experience

If you can see the time on this post, you will see that I didn't quite make it through my scheduled 9 hours at the big orange box... grrrrr.

The day started out well enough - I got my adorable orange apron that said, "I put customer's first", some "flair" for my apron (if you've seen 'Office Space' you know what flair is) and the best part -- my handy, dandy box cutter. Clearly, I wasn't very useful to customers because I didn't know where anything was but I found that if you turn on your southern charm, smile, insert a faint accent and ask about their grandchildren - you were in! The got me through oooooh the first 3.5 hours... and then it happened:

LOPIT (Little Old Person In Tennis Shoes): Lady, I saw an advertisement saying you carry a line of paint to match sport teams.
Me: {dumb blank look} ummmm k
LOPIT: Do you know where I can find it?
Me: In the paint section.
LOPIT: I tell ya... as if I couldn't figure out that one by myself
Me: Well then what exactly are you asking me
LOPIT: I just want to know what it's all about
Me: Again, if you go to the paint section, they'll tell you what it's all about
LOPIT: {stands there dumbfounded}
Me: Do you know where the paint section is?
LOPIT: I'm done talking to you young lady
Me: ummmm k
LOPIT: I can't believe you were so unhelpful. Is this what they pay you for?
Me: No, Ma'm. They pay me to be the Manager of Human Resources Communication. This is extra.
LOPIT: Then why the hell are you here?
Me: Do you just want to be rude to me or do you actually want your paint?
LOPIT: {mumbles, while walking away}
Me: {Yelling, as she is more than halfway down the aisle} Enjoy your stay in the paint section!!!

Shortly thereafter, I retired.

My day following the store experience was totally productive! I got my hair done (resisted the urge to cut it -- I'm a woman of my word), got a manicure/pedicure AND went grocery shopping! I invited my Mom, brother and best friend over for dinner so I better get to it.