Am I Doing This Right?

This blogging thing is totally new to me. Everyone keeps telling me that this is the perfect outlet for my cynicism so I finally got bored enough to do it. Actually, sick enough. I've lost all ability to breathe through my nose so I can't lay down (irrational fear of dying because I'll forget to breathe out of my mouth!) and I don't really want to unpack from my trip because I kind of like my living room being an obstacle course...

I just got back from Georgia to attend the funeral of my paternal grandmother -- this is my second grandmother to die in 30 days and the people at work are just kinda rolling their eyes at me at this point! Anyway, it was great to see my familia in full effect. My grandmother had 9 children, 21 grandchildren (I'm #11) and 20 great-grand and we were all there, which is rare. I had cousins and aunts and uncles there that I haven't seen since I was 4 or 5. My grandmother(lovingly known as "Madear") had colon cancer and had really began to suffer in the last week or so. Although it hurts not having her here, I'm so happy she's gone on to a more peaceful place. My grandmother was born on Valentine's Day and passed away on Mother's Day -- most apporpiate for the woman she was (or is?). She was very much the moral voice of the family and almost immediately my family fell apart - drinking, fighting, drinking, bickering... and more drinking. I - like most black folks - have that one overly religious aunt who thinks because she's "saved" and "found Jesus" she can condemn everyone to hell and tell us all what we should and shouldn't do - definitely the source of lots of drama this weekend. I suspect that was her way of dealing with guilt and loss.

On another note, there were so many things I never realized about my family:

1. I didn't know my grandmother was only 72; I thought she was so much older. Grandmas are supposed to be OLD OLD!
2. I didn't know my grandfather had an identical twin brother -- very, very scary!
3. It's very easy for African-Americans to give you a nickname at the age of 2 weeks and it stick for life. Case and point, I have a 30 year old cousin, still called "Lil' Man!" Not until reading my grandmother's obituary did I realize that my Uncle Skeet's name is Earnest; Aunt Diane's name is Rosalind. My Father's middle name is not Lee - in fact he doesn't have a middle name at all, so I'm not sure where Edware Lee came from. My grandfather's name is neither Brownie, nor Mule, it's Earnest Sr.
4. I didn't know I had a sister who was 16 either... YIKES!
5. I didn't know I'd developed some type of social retardation -- I literally wished to be invisible midway through the repast on Saturday. I felt as if I would go into convulsions if I had to interact with any more family a second longer!

I'm really looking forward to this weekend. I start the Core Curriculum training for the Baha'i Faith. I'm so excited about the opportunity to teach children about spiritual education and the importance of being good people -- I swear I don't ever remember that lesson when I was younger. Probably would've saved me lots of grief... Sometimes I think I'm too bitter to be Baha'i, but I'm learning or unlearning.

Anyway, I'm all blogged out. The set up was a real work out.

Night Kiddies!